A new found respect

This one goes out to all the stay at home/soccer moms. 

So I just spent nearly two hours scrubbing my Tub. I feel very accomplished finally finishing, but the rest of the house? Man, maybe I shouldn't wait every six months to clean these sorts of things. Now to go watch some romantic comedies.

(this was a weak update, but I just needed to say it).

exactly a week from now

Exactly a week from now I will be embarking on my long drive to Boston. I have so many emotions going on right now in my head its difficult for me to express one exact emotion at any given moment. Yesterday I spent the day with Sheri, which the one emotion I was able to vividly maintain was my excitement and happiness to be with her. 

My semester is officially over, but I have yet to process that. This move is certainly taking its toll on me. It doesn't help that me and my mom operate in two different ways. My way is, things will get done just get to work. Her way, talk about things and everything you have left to do constantly until you feel so overwhelmed you can't help but be stressed by everything. Somehow she manages to work well under that, I can't. Going to work today was a relief compared to having to work with her to get this house back into shape and ready for new renters to move in. Note to self, it would probably better not to rent from my mom in the future. This sounds horrible, all this venting about her, cause I do love her, just it's difficult for me to work with her. I don't think we could ever be partners. Both of us can be very efficient, just in completely different ways I guess is how I have to understand it. 

So a week and two days from now I'll officially be a resident of Boston. I need to start figuring out a list of fun things to do. Maybe just hop on the T and see where it takes me, or a bus, or something. I need to make some superficial friends quick just so I have someone to hang out with. who knows, maybe they'll be lasting maybe not, but I think that will be most important in making sure I don't feel completely alone. Cause I am excited to be moving to somewhere completely new, and I want to make the most of it. 

I really need to stop typing and get some sleep. work tomorrow at 5am. goodnight.

laundry list

Truck has been sold, moving stuff is coming together, and the house is still a mess, but not nearly as bad as it could be. (reminds me of me and Sheri convincing ourselves that our disc golf throws were not "nearly as bad as it could have been" when in all reality they were some pretty bad shots). I feel like I should record these memories (which I am right now) but at the same time it just feels like one little thing after another I have to get done and not some big momentous cheesy moment like the romantic comedies I watch. I'm moving to Boston where I know no one. I don't even know if I'll be going to school this fall. That's kind of a big deal I think. I feel like I should be preparing in some way, but I don't really know what for. Maybe I should practice more at making friends and being super stoked on everything people say to me so that way they'll like me. 

So far everything else has been falling into place, I wonder if God plans on seeing this last major aspect through for me or not, we'll see. Either way something is happening. As much as I love my cat, I'll be happy to be passing him off. Today he was being extra annoying, which once every week-week and a half he has a tendency of being. Constant meowing, refusing to leave me alone, etc. Study habits are difficult. Part of me just feels like taking the B and half assing the rest of my studying, and part of me genuinely wants to know and understand this material (regarding my political science class mostly). Each semester I tell myself I'll improve my habits. which I have in baby steps, but not enough to make huge differences. For instance, this semester I have started studying sometimes three or four days before a final/midterm as opposed to the night before or the day of. I think I enjoy the pressure of cramming a little to much is the problem. 

This has been a string of random thoughts, or a "laundry list" of things I needed to get off my mind. 

one more thing, the lack of an updated Ipod has caused me to listen to things I don't normally listen to or are generally not so inclined to listen to. For instnace, my entire discography of Coletrane is on right now. I think having an unupdated Ipod is going to force me to listen to things I don't listen to on a normal basis, and if they are all as enjoyable as this, it won't be so bad. 

Moving!

I just made the reservation for my moving truck. I did a little price comparison, Penske trucks ended up being $1,000 cheaper than U-Haul, interesting. Being a little skeptical, I did some research on their trucks and everything appears to check out, so $1000 bonus to myself it is! Actually, that will probably go towards unexpected expenses I know I'll hit along the way. I hear strip clubs in the midwest are top notch, maybe I'll factor some of that into necessary expenses during our trip. What a bonding experience that will be for me and my father. 

Still haven't heard from BU, today is officially the middle of May, so technically I wouldn't have heard anything from them until today. I hate being so anxious, I liked it better in high school when acceptance letters were about as cool as finding three bucks in my back pocket. Mostly, I just have to keep reassuring myself why they would be crazy not to accept me and that calms me down a bit. 

I have more things to do this afternoon and I sort of just want to ignore doing them, but I can't. Sheri and I will be doing another weekend excursion through Orange County. As always, I'm looking forward to it. 

On another note, I have listened to Radiohead nearly three times a day for the past week and a half. I just keep playing the same three albums I have (Amnesiac, Kid A, OK Computer). I don't know why but it keeps fitting every mood I'm in throughout the day, wierd.  I need Sheri around more often, she motivates me better cause I really need to get stuff done!

Day one.

So this would be my first blog. I finally have been motivated to set this up. I've always wanted to, and until this point I have mostly kept journals and notebooks anytime I felt like writing. 

At this point, I don't really have a purpose for keeping this blog. Maybe from time to time I'll have commentary on political happenings, movies, books, music, but for the most part I think this will be a modem for personal release and reflection. The problem with this more personal approach is the fact that I am inspired to write almost exclusively when I feel particularly depressed, angry, upset, or regretful. I've frequently tried to curb this habit with attempts at positive, uplifting writings, but so far have failed. This blog will be another attempt. 

Now for some personal thoughts.

I'm satisfied with where I'm at. My friendships and relationships here in California are departing on a very positive note. In looking back, every major transition, which usually involved switching schools, leaving sporting teams, quitting a musical endeavor, I tended to leave on less than desirable terms. This time around, leaving my rugby team was actually more difficult than I had initially realized it would be. Towards the end I recognized I genuinely enjoyed being around those guys or at the very least was able to tolerate the idiotic things they would do. I think it was good I was able to see myself end on such a good note. In the same vein, I've recognized how much I enjoy the people I work with and how apprehensive I am at the thought of working with less than desirable people. With 150 other employees, I'm sure there will be someone there I can get along with, hopefully! 

Usually finding a new friend goes as follows: I continue to make sarcastic remarks at things people say or do to myself quietly, but just loud enough for someone near by to hear. Then, if I get a laugh from someone, I focus in on that person until I'm able to break the uncomfortable first impression moments. I'm not sure how well sarcasm will be received on the East Coast, with open arms? I hope so. 

Finally, here is a song I wrote, a little background on this. Initially this started as a poem in my Junior year of high school (2005). There were protests/marches going on outside my Catholic high school regarding the heated Illegal Immigration debate here in California. The protesters, many of whom looked about my age, felt it necessary to express anger at my "rich preppy catholic school" and began throwing eggs and a myriad of other things at our buildings as they walked by. Little did these people realize the official stance of the Catholic Church regarding this sensitive debate. Essentially, the Stance could be summed up as follows, The church completely supports open borders in regards to people seeking a better standard of living. I listened to several speeches by Cardinal Mahoney (sp?) of Los Angeles giving sermons at Mass expressing his anger towards border patrols and his stance, which in turn became the stance of the church in southern California, that they will support illegal immigrants. Funny, cause apparently these die hard protesters and marchers failed to realize this as they thought they were sticking it to the man. (the man here represented by my expensive private high school).

Anyways, interesting bit of Irony, so the first stanza I wrote during that march when sitting in one of my classes. In usual fashion, I never ended up finishing that poem. Flash forward to spring 2008, my English class assigns me to write a song, and I thought, well what a perfect opportunity to finish one of my many poems/songs. I chose this one. I had to turn it into a song and the assignment required a chorus for it, which although I'm satisfied with, I feel is the weakest point of the song. So, enough talking Justin! enjoy this whoever has made it this far. 

Friend, you seem to be resisting

You claim that you’re listening

But really, can you hear me?

The change you wish to see

The way you wish the world could be

Our hope, it begins

With seeing things

A little more clearly

No picket signs

No chants from a crowd

No need for a cause to make us proud

Of the hollow words we scream out loud

 

And don’t you think it’s time we see

The way we wish the world could be

Oh, how we wish the world could see

Give to them more clarity

Solidarity, this is our crying plea

 

Our time is now, friend

Lets make our stand

A war within ourselves

Not on some foreign land

The blood stained soil

A life long toil

To force the burden of another

Onto each other,

How can we not realize

These are our sisters, our brothers

 

Truly it’s painful to see

That those all around me are

Constantly clashing and

Crashing, like the past Empire’s fight

To turn their might into right

When really, is it not plain to see,

All we truly need is solidarity

 

And don’t you think it’s time we see

The way we wish the world could be

Oh, how we wish the world could see

Give to them more clarity

Solidarity, this is our crying plea

Okay, I'm out! that was a long first post, I guess I had a lot to say. (and I withheld a lot! so plenty of fuel for later posts :) ] 

Justin